Roses Of War
by Domino91
Summary: What happens when are hot headed she-wolf is not a wolf yet What will happen when the human side is losing and mysteries start to uncover from her observation about the reservation and Forks. Don't worry there is the wolves and vampires in this story- Blackwater fic.
1. Chapter 1

Blackwater

The Roses of war

The trees were blowing a nice gust of wind from my window. Even though it was below ten degrees outside it felt like ninety in here. I have been sick for nearly a week and the closest thing I came to fresh air was the window being open. Fuck I hate this, damn you Seth for passing on your ugly ass germs onto me, god when if I ever do get out of this I am going to kick him so hard in the soft area that hurts that he will have a high pitched voice for a month. Little twerp he's never home any more so I would be lucky if I could get a scratch on him, who knows where he pisses off to everyday, not that I'm complaining that I always have the house to myself. But the urge for companions never fades when you are alone. Like I felt fine really I did it's just a fever it had no effect on me apart from it was freaking scorcher where ever I went. What have I done to deserve this?

Fate hated me it seems like everyone around me is getting their fairy-tale but where is mine? Oh yeah that's right I remember now I had my fairy tale a year ago, when the world was perfect and the love songs made since to me and other people gawk at the happy pairing prance around the road knowing they look so idiotic but they didn't care. Yeah what a load of crap, what I thought was cute, now all I want to do is puke at the thought of doing any of it. Love is blinding, distracting and most of all heartbreaking.

I know I was stupid but I was fifteen and he was seventeen, I shouldn't have gone for the older guy but I guess that was why it was blinding we went out for nearly two years until he left school and went to find his future out in La Push. Everything was going great nothing could have gone wrong of the moment and then I realised that I was in love with Sam Uley. But it was quite strange after a while Sam started to think and act differently, like the time he lashed out at me cause I wouldn't give in to him, I said I wanted to stay pure until engagement. At that time he was acting like a girl on PMS, him picking fights with me until are faces turned blue of course there was no physical contact but it came close to it and every time we fought I know when he ran into the forest that it was over. The man I loved would be gone for over two weeks at a time and it seemed his mother was relaxed and calm, till this day I still don't know why she was acting that way she loved her son dearly, it made no sense. When he came back from his little vacation I asked him where he was he never responded. This person was not the same. Some what a stranger who I happened to be with, it was like a repetitive blind date going over and over again. I slowly feel out of love with him but because I was desperate to make things back to the way things were. I invited Emily Young to my house for the weekend she was my cousin up in Makah she was more of a sister we were best friends since well forever I guess. If anyone could make things right again it was Emily the nonstop happy saint who reminded me a lot of Seth but of course Seth talked more. So when I greeted my best friend and my boyfriend something was not right it was the way he looked at her, he never looked at me like that. He had a face that just screamed I am totally in love with you. I know and stupid I ignored the expression throwing it off like it was nothing. Man was I wrong leaving them alone in my house I told them I was going to rent a movie and get a pizza in Forks. Well of course I was excited that my best friend and boyfriend were getting to know each other but when I opened the door to see something I did not think I would see. I opened the door to see not only my best friend, but my cousin banging my boyfriend on my couch!

Like a girl who suddenly turned into the hulk I pulled Emily out of my house by the hair and Sam with the ear. I through them out of my house butt naked in my street and like always the gossip begun with people opening there curtains and taking a peep of the naked couple standing on my porch screaming and banging on the door to let them back in, but really what they were doing was attracting more of an audience. I know I should have been crying but I was laughing sure I was upset but how many times in your life do you get to through naked people out of your house and you playing god Wether to let them in or not...Of course I didn't let them back in, why should I let them back in...retards. Rule one don't fuck with Leah wise she will get mad and throw you out of the house. Naked.

It wasn't long until the police and my mum came to the house. From what I could hear from sitting against the door with my knees up to support my head. Was mum screaming at Sam and Emily hearing Emily cry was music to my ears and the high light of the day. After all the ranting about how low and immature they acted, the police took Sam and Emily to the police station in Forks for public exposure. Oh how I would love to see the moment Ms Uley paying bail to her son and some random girl. I smile at that thought, oh how so sweet revenge tasted.

That night however was not so sweet I must have cried for hours it's funny how earlier I was laughing and now balling my head out into a pillow. After all the tears were no longer there I made several promises to myself to not let anyone take advantage of my trust ever again. When I sat up all night thinking of how fate screwed me over and over. It was time to protect myself I built a wall around my heart so no one could hurt me the way they did. So when I built the wall I was no longer a ray of sunshine it was true Leah May Clearwater had become a total bitter bitch. Originally I was a bitch until Sam fucked up my routine and made me fluffy and happy and a whole lot of other crap. I knew one day I would go back to my original state I just thought it wouldn't be like this turn out.

I wouldn't go outside much not after what happened all I would receive is pity looks and pats on the back. I don't want sympathy, I don't want their damn help either god all I wanted them to do is fuck the hell off and leave me in my sorrows but no they did not, which only made me mad.

The news travelled fast through La push considering the size of town it was not surprising. When I did finally leave the house people whispered as I walked past. Every now and then when things got boring in La push they would go back to gossiping about me. That's the res for you gossip central. I love living in La push the people are nice and even though we don't get much sun it's very nice in summer. That's when we are over loaded with visitors coming to look at the old Indian reservation. And another thing good about living on the res is nobody thinks you are fucking crazy when walk around with bare feet. And from that point on I found myself lost in a world where everyone was moving but you weren't. High school was all the same apart from people hated me because I was a 'sour bitch' their perspective and it's still like that apart from while girls get the gist to stay away from me guys they tend to be a massive pain in the ass thinking my bitchy attitude is hot. God some guys are dead set fucked in the face I swear, like if Sam couldn't jump in the sack with me what makes them think they can. I sighed as I flipped the picture of me and Sam on the bedside table and got it out of the frame and stared at it.

It was from the time when we were still having are relation complex. So I looked pissed off in the picture and with him with the most ugly grin I ever seen, it was so weird whenever he use to smile my heart skipped a beat but now all it does is leave a dull reminder of my hideous life before I changed. I frowned at the picture like it was the devil himself; I don't see why I kept this picture. I took the from the edges and tore it from the middle. Tears rolled down my eyes along with silent sobs.

I think it's finally time to move on...

'Argh go away' I grumbled as someone was shaking me hysterically.

'Oh come on Lee' I knew I had to get up but I had the most wonderful dream, I was at the beach with someone I couldn't exactly remember who that's why I didn't want to wake up. I want to keep this dream but the further I slipped into consensuses the harder it was to keep hold of. I rolled over to my other side to make it obvious to the person I didn't want to be woken.

'Leah wake up' It was Seth the little prick who was trying to wake me up I know that whiny voice from anywhere. He most likely wants something or came to annoy because all his little friends pissed off. I heard him huff from the other side of the bed that brought a smile to my face how often could you hear your happy-go-lucky brother be frustrated. I soon learned that maybe I should have got up because next thing I knew I was on the floor. He pushed me off the floor then I heard my brother spring off my bed and jump right over me and go out the door, smart ass. I soon got up finding energy to get revenge and running after him. He knows I can catch him I am known as the fastest runner in La push besides being the biggest bitch in the world. As he jumped over the railing I nearly had a heart attack I leant over the railing to see if he was alright he was gone. I ran down the stairs like a mad women then looking around frantically for Seth then I walked into the kitchen to see my mother at the stove and Seth staring eagerly at the food from the table. He didn't seem hurt at all yet when I stepped into the kitchen I could barely recognise him. He seems to have grown a fair bit over the past week. From the way he was sitting it looked like he gotten taller and a hall lot buff. Wait since when does my brother work out he was one of those nerds that barley moved a muscle how could this be my little brother now that's going to be weird to say now, when he looks more like my older brother. Kids grow up so fast. My brother just smiled while I just stood in door frame gaping at him.

'Come Lee I saved you a seat' he leaned over and patted the chair next to him.

'Thanks' I mumbled my eyes boring into his. I walked over to the chair Seth so nicely gestured to me. I titled my head to one side.

'Seth did you get a haircut?' I asked.

'Yes I did, lee thanks for noticing' And with that comment he was running his fingers through his hair acting like a total smart ass. Then right in front of me was a nice setting of spaghetti, and then I looked up to tell Seth he was a smart ass, but only to be collided with sauce.

'Seth could you be any more of a pig' I screamed.

'Oh I'm sorry Leah' he said trying not laugh. I through him dagger eyes as my mother was wiping my face with a dish towel.

'Now are you two finished acting like six year olds' I rolled my eyes at my mother's comment and started eating tea and so did Seth.

While me and my mum were talking about how the festival for the New Year at La push is going Seth was on his third helping of food. Thank god none of it got over anything or anyone it was a Christmas miracle.

'Mum tis ood woo good' said Seth with his mouth full of spaghetti. Mum just smiled and me looking disgusted.

'Mum are you seeing this no wonder he hasn't got a girlfriend' I tried to keep myself from throwing up at the table thinking of my little brother having a girlfriend never in a million years will he have one, I mentally laughed.

'Hey Leah girls are falling all over me at La push high school' I scoffed at his comment. 'It's not my fault none of them are in my league'.

'Seth If anything they are out of your league' I pointed out taking another mouth full of spaghetti, he said nothing just poked his tongue out and continued with his dinner I smiled Seth was the only one who could make my day not so crappy, even though he is annoying I could not ask for a better brother then Seth. I sighed as I realised that Seth was the only friend I have got. That's sad when your only friend is your little brother.

Mum was the first to finish and went over to put her dishes on the sink and grabbed the keys off the counter, before I could ask her where she was going she answered.

'I'm going to Forks to drop some leftovers to Charlie' she went over to grab her coat from the closet and grabbed a container from the freezer.' Leah's in charge, I want the dishes to be done while I'm gone, no parties or raging music, love you' she kissed Seth on the head. 'Love you' then me on the cheek. As she headed for the door she turned and looked at us with a stern look 'Be good' was all she said then she was out the door. We both watched her pull out of the drive way and waved good bye. I turned to Seth who was finishing the rest of his supper.

'Did you hear that twerp?'

'Yeah she's giving the rest to Charlie' he said with his eyes furrowed.

'No you idiot, mum said I'm in charge which means you are wiping up and putting away' I stated.

He looked shocked for a second.' No way Lee I'm not'

'Yes you are now with your sudden growth spurt, you know I can't reach the high cupboards' I spat back.

'Leah you know there's only one way we can deal with this fairly' he reach out his hand with his fist closed.

'Seth how could you call that fair I always lose at rock, paper, scissors' He laughed knowing that I would have to do that any way.

'Leah how do you know that I would win? It could be you this time' He smiled looking down at his fist formation.

'Fat chance' I mumbled as I was getting ready to be beaten.

One, two...three. I looked over to see Seth's hand it was rock.

'Damn it, I'm not doing it' I sulked pouting my lip and crossing my arms like a five year old would do.

'Stop acting like a baby' He said as he went over to the draw. 'Now get to work' He through a dish towel which landing in front of me on the table. I gave him one last look with the puppy dog eyes. He just laughed and shook his head. The only boy it does not work on is Seth why can't he be a normal little brother and be my bitch? But too bad in my life it's just not normal. Seth started collecting up the plates while I sat there looking at him trying to convince him.

'Forget it, I'm not giving in' he said collecting the bowls from the table.

'It was worth a shot' I said. I sighed; I stood up from the table and took the dish towel. I walked over to the sink where Seth started washing up; I went over to stand beside him. He started handing me dishes. He was being awfully quite he had a very stern look when he looked at the spaghetti.

'Something wrong little bro?' I asked. He looked surprised when I asked him.

'You're not picking up the signs?' He breathed. What the hell is he going on about?

'Sorry, what aren't I picking up? The worlds full questions today I thought.

'Mum...Charlie' Yep he's gone mad.

'So?' He looked at me weirdly, god what's going on that I don't know about.

'Lee listen closely...mum and Charlie' When he said mum and Charlie like a velvet laced word.

'Wait rewind... did I fucking miss something.' He pinched the bridge of his nose. No that's so gross that's my mum and my dad's best friend. Nope not thinking of it, not thinking of it. I guess I was happy for mum she's finally moving on and thank god it's not with some random ass retard off the street.

'How long has this been going on?' I said through my gritted teeth. Sure I was happy for mum moving I think it's been a year since dad's death. But that doesn't get rid of the fact that I had to find out from my little brother.

'I don't know Lee, like a month I think I only knew now for a week now'.

I took a deep breath trying to calm myself down.' What do you think of it?' I asked with my head titled to one side, taking another dish from the sink. I waited for him to answer when five minutes went passed I thought he wasn't going to answer, so I went to ask him again but he answered.

'I'm happy for mum it's just its dad's best friend it's...kinda weird don't you think'.

'Yeah, but if mums happy we really shouldn't get in her way even if she is with a clumsy old oath'. It's true, I don't know how the hell that man is still living he can barely walk across a flat service without tripping over his own feet. Let alone he's a police officer great the forks and La push can be all relaxed when they have chief Swan on the job, I mentally laughed. Oh why mum did you have to fall for a douche that can hardly stand on his two legs or burn toast without burning the house down with it.

I turned to Seth with my eye brows clutching together.

'Mums dating' I said ' That's even weird to say' He laughed and passed me a cup.

'Yeah I just wish it wasn't with Charlie' He stated.

'To tell you the truth I would rather her date Billy he's like a second farther to us anyway.' I said as I started wiping up another cup.

'That would make Jacob are step brother'

'Ew, don't even think of ' me and Jacob use to be best friends when we were little cause are dads would stick us together while they went fishing. I was also best friends with his twin sisters Rebecca who moved to Hawaii and got married and his other sister Rachel who went to state Washington university but they were a little older than me and Jacob so mainly it was me and Jacob up in till high school when I went totally Uley crazy, then it was me and Rebecca and Rachel as my new best friends with all the boy chatter and gossip so me and Jake went our separate ways it's kind of sad really.

'You wouldn't be saying that now Lee'

'Whys that?' I said placing my hands on my hips. Seth may be a head taller but he's still a little twerp.

'Jesus Lee you're a girl don't you have chick gossip or some girly shit!'

'Seth you're basically my best friend unless you want to talk about boys and my period I suggest you shut up! His face scrunched up for a second then he quickly rebounded from the remark.

'Now that's just gross' I laughed' I was just saying that if mum ever decided to swing in Billy direction then it would be a repeat of the Brady Bunch movie'.

'First that movie is just fucked up, what kind of children's movie is that the brother and sister known each other for what six years, and then suddenly be attracted to each other.'

'Second what makes you think Jacob would be appealing to me?'

'Lee you would have to be lesbian not to be attracted to him. You should hear how some of the girls on the res talk about him'.

'What?' He rolled his eyes and passed me a plate.

'You will see tomorrow'.

'What's tomorrow?' I asked am I the only one who's missing out on stuff here I really need to get back into the La push gossip.

'Didn't mum tell you?' He questioned.

'Seth I barley came out of my room today' I snapped.

'Well we are having dinner at the Blacks with Charlie'.

'Oh joy' I mumbled.

'Lee, you use to love going over to the Blacks'. He looked at the counter beside me with the wiped up dishes.' I think you should start putting away now'. I nodded in agreement

'Well I was eleven and it's not the Blacks bothering me'. Now I was trying to put a plate in the top cupboard but couldn't reach.

'Here' Seth came over and took the plate from my hands and put it in the cupboard.

'Thanks, you know I hate putting away' I mumbled.

'No prob shorty' he grinned.

'Fuck up' he only laughed more little twat. He returned to the sink.

'So what do you have against Charlie?' I scoffed while getting handed a glass.

'What don't I have against him, he's absent minded and has absolutely no personality and he's clumsy as hell, I don't know how he came a cop in the first place let alone a chief I guess they just hand out the job these days, also he is a total slob like you when you eat!'

'Hey' he said looking offended. I just brushed it off and continued with my little rant.

'And he is just so wrong for mum.'

'She doesn't seem to think so' Seth pointed out, I wish he didn't. I mentally cringed at the thought of my mother dating or doing anything else with chief Swan it just didn't seem right. I was just fighting the urge not to scream at her and remind her of what she and dad had, but in the pit of my heart I was also happy she was moving on and glad I don't hear her every night crying and prying. It is very saddening. I wish I could have helped in some way but I know I would only be a bother.

'Okay Lee we are finished, so I'm off see you when I get back'. He kissed me on the head and was walking out of the kitchen door frame. Where's he going? Ditcher much.

'Wait, I thought you were staying' as I ran over to grab his arm so he couldn't go any further.

'I can't Lee-Lee I got a meeting' I stepped back and gave him a questioning look. A meeting he must have a job or he joined some cult over the week.

'Yeah I got a job over in Forks, does mum tell you anything?' I have never felt so disconnected from the world until now, first mums dating Charlie, we are going to Blacks for dinner tomorrow and now Seth's got a job over in forks. What do you expect Leah you don't come out of your room much only for school. Okay I think it's time for La push to have face-book or twitter so I can keep updated.

'Well see you Lee' and with that he was gone. Great alone...again like always. I went over to the couch in the lounge room and just collapsed. I grabbed the remote which was on the coffee table. I turned the TV over to what I thought was reasonably good Cops.

After thirty minutes went past and a raging storm hit, mum called and said that she couldn't make home and Seth is staying at a friend's place. When the new wave of thunder roared I nearly fell off the couch. I hate thunder even when I was younger I hated them, storms just didn't make me safe at all no one could calm me down when a storm was going not even my farther who was the man I always felt safe around, couldn't protect me from the storms. I started shaking in fear when lightning stricken upon the mountains. The reason why I hated storms so much is because every time a storm hits I have this urge to just run outside and just run through the rain. It was like being on the edge of a bridge and wanting so hard to jump. When I was seven I came so close to going outside before my mother pulled me away from the door frame, I never told anyone this not even...him. It was scary now than ever I never trusted myself being alone when a storm is on, when I was with somebody I always knew I would be safe. And being at home all week the fresh air was so tempting .I was acting like a women on jenny Craig sitting right in front of chocolate. I tried to distract myself with T.V but it only made it worse with their crappy shows.

Damn you Doctor Phil if you had to cheat on your own wife how the hell was you suppose to mend their relationship. None of this was helping. I kept stealing glances out the window my breathing came harder. I ran up the stairs shaking madly when I got to my bedroom I locked the door and shut the curtains. I must have sat in dark for hour's maybe even minutes I lost all thought I just sat and stared at the window. I bit my lip as I stood up and examined the outside peeking behind my silk curtains. The condensation on my window fogged up my view. I was acting completely insane how I could let myself come so close to outside. I couldn't take it any more I needed fresh air I felt the walls closing in on me and it was getting hard to breath. I opened the window up to 2cm but that didn't calm me, I opened the window half up but still didn't satisfy my needs, I opened the window fully. I stood there for a couple of minutes taking deep breaths of fresh air but yet I wanted more. I stood up on the window seal it was like my mind and my body were doing two different things. I couldn't stop myself from what happened next thank god I had a tree right outside my window. For some reason I was always good at climbing, I'm taking it from me sneaking out of the house a lot when I was in my early teen stage. The things I would do just to see a boy wow.

I landed on the wet grass with a thump. The air was so delightful I smiled to myself probably because I know I was finally insane took me long enough. I never felt so free then now the air the wind and that salty sea air which was most likely coming from first beach. Just maybe I could let go of everything and stop being a bitter bitch and just live out in the wild to never see Sam or Emily again. It would be like one of those TV shows that no one gives a rat ass about. Leah vs. Wild yeah that sounds way better. Then there I heard lightning strike upon the mountains again. I screamed what was I doing I'm losing my mind. I must be on some sort of sugar rush of adrenaline rush. I don't know why or how but I was running straight for the mountains.

Now I was in the forest surrounded by trees and grass. Of course I am now insane do I want to kill myself? I shouldn't be out here I can see it now Leah Clearwater tried to kill herself in the middle of a storm. I would probably come out alive most likely but you can't trust the forest people have been talking about people going into the forest and not coming out, at first I scoffed at the assumption thinking it was a load of shit just La push gossip nothing more. But then a girl went missing by the name of Katie she went to La push high. Her parents said they were camping up in the mountains at Forks. They held a ceremony at school for her lots of people cried that day. I personally didn't know who she was but I felt sorry for her parents all same. Then a couple weeks later I heard something happened to Emily, it turns out she was attacked by a bear and had three long scars across her face, I hadn't seen her since the whole cheating thing because well I fucking didn't want to the man stealing whore. I felt sorry as much as I hate her for what she did to me I would never wish her dead or injured. She still was my cousin I still love her in the small part of my heart which was not broken but all the respect I once had for her was gone and that sisterly love went with it. From all the stories I heard of people going missing or being mauled by a bears I couldn't help being paranoid. I didn't notice I was still running deeper and deeper into the forest watching trees, rocks and plants flying past me as I ran. My breathing came heavy and my heart was racing making me shake slightly. I stopped at what seemed to be a tree stump and sat down on it trying to calm down from my high. I was soaked from my head to toe. For the first time in ages I felt cold I started shiver my fever must have suddenly stopped...odd. It was like an animal instinct took over my body and landed me here. I shivered one more time. I'm going to die out here if not from bears then from pleurisy or ammonia.

I heard twigs snap from behind me. Oh crap!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Sleep in my bed tonight it won't be weird

I froze in terror. Okay Leah keep your cool, it was probably a rabbit yeah a fluffy bunny rabbit. Twigs snapped again. I let out a silent squeal. Unicorns, Unicorns sunshine, lolly pops oh god I'm going to throw up. What am I doing? I'm Leah fucking Clearwater not a seven year old pull it together woman. I instantly standing up with my eyes closed and shaking slightly. I heard a chuckle behind me. The chuckle was husky and I could not help myself it sounded sexy. Snap out of it Leah this man is most likely a rapist who likes to scare his victims before they get on with the bang boom.

'If you come near me I will kick you in the balls' I said my voice trembling at the end.

'Calm down Leah' I turned to face the person. I couldn't see anything it was so dark all I could see was a muscular out line.

'I mean it your balls will be the shade of Twinkie Winkie, and good luck having kids after that fucker' I spat.

'Leah it's me, Jacob' there was no worry in his voice. It didn't seem my threats frightened him.

'You better clarify that retard, there are thousands of Jacobs on this fucking planet' I stated. I heard him sigh into the air.

'Black, Leah... Jacob Black' I sighed in relief. I knew Jacob wouldn't hurt me because well it was Jacob and his father Billy was my Dads best friend so I could say I trust Jacob.

'Jake, sorry I thought you were a rapist sorry about the whole balls moment'. He laughed; my eyes grew large as I heard him laugh that word was coming up again sexy. No Leah you will not think of Jacob that way ever EVER again. One its Jacob, Two it's Jacob Black for that matter. Just no.

'What are you doing out here anyway Clearwater, it's dangerous' He stopped laughing and sounding serious. So serious it was scary.

'What are you doing out here?' I snapped putting my hands on my hips. I heard him let out angry sigh.

'If you must know I was collecting wood for a fire' he pointed out. 'Now answer my question Leah why are you out here' his voice sounded like he was gritting his teeth.

'I don't know' I mumbled. I shivering like crazy it was like I had mad cow disease.

'What do you mean "you don't know"?' He sounded pissed why should he care for all I know we stopped being friends in middle school.

'Something' I paused for a minute he's going to think I'm crazy. Who cares Clearwater he already thinks you're crazy. 'Came over me I couldn't stop myself' I was about to say more but it was so cold. Great Leah comes out into the forest during a storm just wearing shorts and a tank top...smart much. I sat back down on the tree stump again.

'Whoa, Lee you cold?' I felt the stump move slightly as what I'm guessing him sitting next to me or unless I suddenly gained ninety pounds.

'I'm fine' I lied.

'Come here, Lee' I felt two strong arms rap around my slender waist and pull me towards him. He turned me around as he pulled me into a hug. His skin was hard but yet tender and my shivering stopped after a few seconds I actually started sweating. It was Jacobs's body temperature it's so warm I didn't want to move and his smell it was so muscular, he smelt like forest and dirt covered up what smelled like cologne. I got so caught up in his scent that I nearly jumped right out of his arms when he spoke.

'Better?' He breathed in my ear. I felt my stomach churn and a desire burning into my core. God get a hold of yourself he was just asking a question, so don't cum on his lap.

'You're so hot' I blurted out thank god it was dark wise I think my face would look like a tomato. I heard his breath hitch at my comment.

'You're not bad yourself Clearwater' I knew it was dark but I could just see him smiling.

'I was talking about your body temperature, retard' I mumbled.

'Sure sure' he said with a bit of cockiness to the edge of his voice. I knew I couldn't stay here forever as much as I wanted to I had to go back home before mum rings and starts worrying when I don't answer. I struggled out of his lap his grip was so strong I was surprised I could get out of it I knew if he was trying I couldn't escape. I stumbled out of his reach his touch still lingered on me and his smell made me a little bit tipsy but nothing I can't handle I was two metres away from the tree stump. Now which way did I come from I was trying to think. I heard footsteps from behind me.

'What do you think you're doing?' he said sternly. I turned to him putting my hands on my hips.

'Trying to find which direction I came from' I said staring in each direction for five seconds. 'Now shut up and help me so I can go home' I heard him huff.

'Leah I can't let you go out there, especially by yourself' he said with anger in his tone.

'Oh please, I was fine before and plus it's not that far away' which way was it think Leah.

'Leah my house is just down that hill and your house is on the other side of town it would take you hours to get back and it's dangerous'. Wow it seemed like I got here in five minutes I am a fast runner props to you Leah. This guy is such a hypocrite.

'Speak for yourself Jacob, you were out in the forest alone too jackass' I snapped. I felt his hand grab my wrist and pull me towards his chest.

'Trust me Lee, I'm much safer out in the forest then you will ever be' his voice was so calm but yet had a warning tone. I was just about to ask why but there was something in his voice that told me not to ask questions. I bit my lips knowing I would have to go with him.

'It looks like I have no other option' I breathed. 'I will go to your house'.

'Good' he chuckled, gloating that he won the battle for day.

'But no funny business I mean it Black, wise I will snap your dick off and feed it to you' I threatened.

'Alright Clearwater, whatever you say but I think we should head to my place to get you cleaned up' he started to walk in the opposite direction tugging me away with him.

'Um Jake before we go any further can you let go of my wrist' he instantly let go now knowing what he was doing.

'Sorry' he mumbled. Good thing it was dark because I could not stop smiling.

Yep that was me the one who was following Jacob home. I had to concentrate on his footsteps so I don't trip or fall on my ass. I never pictured tonight going like this. My plan was to sit down and eat a whole tub of ice cream while watching a special of jerry springer at least the people on that show had more of a fucked up life then me. I had to watch where I'm going my eyes still haven't adjusted to the dark yet and with Jacobs scent trailing everywhere he leads it was hard to focus. Damn him the cocky, caring, cunt I would have gotten okay just fine without his help. My mother's going to freak when she gets home and finds me out of the house with my fever that suddenly disappeared. Even worse when she finds out I spent the night at the Blacks. Jacob has not said a word to me since we started walking and every ten seconds or so he would turn his head to make sure I was still there. I knew I could of bolted I could out run Jacob easy, but something told me to stay with Jake for some reason I felt completely at ease when I was with him. Focus Leah focus, one step, two steps, three steps, four steps, five steps. I jumped when he spoke once again.

'Now you got to be careful when you go down there you might slip-' and with that he turned me completely off focus and I slipped. That barstead, not only was I soaked but now my ass was covered with mud. I could hear him coming closer making my heart beat increase.

'Jeez can't let me finish a warning and you go slip on your ass' he laughed, I felt his breath on my face.

'Shut up it's not funny it's your fault' I pouted.

'How?' he questioned.

'You jinxed me ass hole' I pushed him he didn't even move an inch.

'Stop being a baby, Clearwater'

'Go suck cock Jacob' I snapped. I felt him move closer to me his nose was almost touching mine I felt myself getting dizzy from is scent.

'Tacos the only thing on my menu, but thanks for offering' that smart ass prick. I was about to go into full on bitchy mode but I was now being carried bridal style through the forest. I held onto his neck for support just in case he does drop me.

'How can you see through the darkness' I barley whispered asking the question to myself and not to him but he answered any way.

'It's just a thing I inherited' bad eye sight getting inherited I understand but good eyesight was a completely new thing to me.

We were now across the dirt road from his house from what he informed me. I could hear him walking up the steps from his porch and fumbling with the keys. I took the keys from his hand and shoved them into the key whole and twisted. Jacob kicked the door open with his foot. We must have looked like a just married stumbling into the house. He was searching for the light switch as we walked around the house with me still dangling in his strong arms. When he found the light switch he flicked every light switch on and off.

'Fuck' he mumbled. If you want... did I just think that? For all that is great thank you for not saying that out loud. I closed my eyes as I thanked the sex gods.

'What?' I questioned coming out of my deranged thoughts.

'Powers out, I have to check the fuse box, so I kinda need you to let go' He let his arms fall to his sides and my arms slid out from his neck, while me sliding down his muscular torso along with my lips accidentally brushing his chest, I didn't realise how tall he was now he must be two heads taller to me. His body tensed up as my lips brushed up against his body. Well that was embarrassing. I stepped back from his chest to give him space. He cleared his throat 'I will be back in a minute, stay here'.

'I'm not going to run away' I stated pushing my eyebrows together.

'I wouldn't put it past you Leah' and with that he left for the door. When he was out I touched my lips they were tingling, I bit down on my lip but it didn't stop. What is this man doing to me? Or what isn't he doing Leah? I mentally scowled at myself for letting such thoughts enter my mind. I sat down in the corner of what seemed to be two counters, so I must be sitting in Jacobs's kitchen it's been a while.

What a night Mums spending her night with Charlie Swan, Seth's at a friend's house and I went and had my insane moment and cradled by none other than Jacob Black and now at his house thinking how crazy tonight really is, and to top it all off my fucking ass is wet.

After I finished ravishing tonight's events I noticed the power was back on and the light was blinding. After adjusting to the light a little I noticed someone walk back into the house and trying to find me. Oh my god for once Seth was right about something and the strange thing was it was about a guy. Yep totally asking Seth if he is gay when I get back home.

I was right he is tall; I think he's the tallest person I have seen all in my sad life. He gives a whole new meaning of tall dark and handsome. This couldn't be the Jacob I use to play with as a child; I would be lying to myself if I said I did. It was like I was staring at a Greek god. Now I can see why I was acting the way I did around him. I mentally laughed as he was looking in all the rooms for me, douche he walked straight past me. I spared him of the extra few minutes of him looking for me; I stood up letting him finally notice me. He looked at me and the corners of his mouth twitched. Why is he looking at me like that?

'Are you hungry?' he asked. If he only knew what for. Stop that quick answer him before he figures out what we are thinking.

'No, not really' but right on cue my stomach rumbled. He chuckled I stared at him for a minute and stopped before he noticed.

'I will make you something when I get back, I will see if I can find you some clothes' then he left to one of the rooms. I walked around the kitchen then I my attention was finally won over by the door being wide open, I stepped over the door frame the storm had control over me once again. I was about to start running for the mountains until I was pulled back and slammed into the wall facing a very angry Jacob.

'Are trying to kill yourself Leah' he said. His body was pressing up against mine. I was a metre off the ground thanks to Jacob halting me up by his arms to stop me from running out the door because he knew if I ran he won't be able to catch me. His face was a good six inches away from mine; it was hard not to make eye contact with him. He was waiting for me to answer his question.

'No, Jake I promise you I'm not trying to kill myself' I breathed his scent is getting to me damn it.

'Leah look at me, just let me keep you safe that's all I'm trying to do' I couldn't help I had to make eye contact with him my eyes shifted to his chocolate brown orbs, he was giving me a strange look, I have seen this look before I know I have.

'You should take a shower, your clothes are on the counter' he let me go and watched me retreat to the bathroom.

Once I was in the bathroom I couldn't shake the look Jacob just gave me no one has ever looked at me like that. I turned the shower on and started undressing then I realised my white tank top was see through that little prick that's what he was smiling at he is so going to coop it when I get out of the shower. After drowning my thoughts in the shower something smelt good really good. I quickly dressed into a very over large brown T-shirt and I didn't bother wearing the pants there was no need for them they didn't even fit me they were swimming on me and the T-shirt was more like a night gown it covered up what needed to be covered up and I knew Jacob only gave the pants to me so I wouldn't feel like I was being perved on although I already was with my tank top incident bless my soul I was wearing a bra.

I exited the bathroom carrying my dirty clothes and entered the kitchen to see Jacob standing at the stove cooking hash browns, French toast and eggs. He noticed me enter the kitchen/laundry room and eyed me carefully eyed. I shot him dagger eye I put my hands on my hips showing him that he's in trouble.

'Finally figure out that your tank top was seeing through, Lee' he smiled.

'You're such an ass' I pouted pretending to be upset.

'I'm sorry Lee, but you did put on quite a show' he winked at me.

'Oh you're just lucky I was wearing a bra' I snapped back. His back tensed up.

'No Leah your lucky you wore a bra because I don't think you would be out here if you didn't'

'You're sick' he chuckled.

'What do want done with these I suggested to the dirty clothes'.

'Just chuck them in the wash and we will dry them on the hot water cylinder later' I nodded chucking the washing in the old machine. I came around the corner to find the one thing a woman would probably never see in her life a man cooking. I knew Jacob could cook he had to he was the only one looking after his father. That's the thing about Jacob he's will always be a good guy not exactly a saint like my little brother Seth but a good guy all in the same. Being here reminded me a lot of my childhood. Nothing changed all the tribal decorations were still hanging from walls like old dream catchers and old paintings. And being here seems like I gained an old best friend back. I walked over the stove where Jacob was struggling with three different pans all at the same time.

'Need any help, ass wipe' he smiled at my remark.

'No, Lee I'm fine'

'Liar, here cowboy let me take over from here give it a little womanly touch' I took the spatula from his hands. 'So where's Billy?' I asked.

'He's up in Makah waiting for Rachel's plane to get in'. Rachel's coming back oh how I missed my best friend.

'Rachel's coming back' I asked hopefully my eyes lighting up as I said it.

'Yeah, she's finished University and wants to come back down' he pointed out.

'Bitch, why didn't she tell me' Jacob laughed I felt a shiver go through my body as he did.

'It was supposed to be a surprise, that's why you are coming over for dinner tomorrow' he smiled.

'Oh, way to blow your cover Black' he rolled his eyes.

'Can you at least act surprised wise Rachel will go off her nut' it was my turn to laugh.

'You deserve it' I said.

'For what?' he defended.

'For being a cocky, arrogant ass hole' I pointed out.

'Thanks for caring Lee' he said sarcastically. We stood there for five minutes in a comfortable silence just watching the pans cook.

'Jacob how long have you been cooking?'

'Four years now, why?' he said with one eyebrow raised.

'You have been cooking the wrong all these years, here let me teach you' I flipped the egg over to make it less runny and waited a five minutes and flipped them back over.

'Tatar' I said enthused by my work. I felt him move behind me, he moved the hair to away from my left ear. I swallowed deeply; my heart was beating so fast I think it was going to jump out of my chest.

'What else can you teach me, Lee' he breathed in my ear. If only he knew how wrong that sentence really was. I think he was intending that Clearwater.

'Just shut up and get the plates' I mumbled. I felt him move and I instantly went cold. He sat two plates beside me on the counter.

After I dished up, Jacob led me to the lounge room. We sat on the couch and was watching CSI some girl just got killed because stupid enough to have a T.V in her bathroom.

'That's what you get you stupid whore' Jacob gave a "what the fuck" look'.

'Do you always talk to the T.V, Clearwater?' smart ass. The storm was still raging outside and I couldn't help it, it was calling out to me. Jacob noticed my stare down with the window and grabbed my arm, when he touched me I felt completely at ease.

'You right Lee?'

'I'm fine' I said a little bit too quickly.

'You're not leaving, not while that storm is out there' he said firmly.

'I know' I said.

'Then why are you looking outside?' he pointed outside. I shook my head if I tell him he will probably put me in a strait jacket. But maybe I should tell him, you can trust Jacob. So swallowing all my pride, I would tell him.

'Um...it all started when I was little I guess. There was a storm going and every time I feel alone I have this urge to run outside and just run. That's why I ran out into the forest and trying to run away earlier' I mumbled I was surprised when he could hear me talk.

'You're weird Clearwater'.

'Thanks' I said sarcastically.

'In a good way' I smiled at him.

We must have sat there for ages just talking about are old habits and friends. We were now talking about Quil and Embry and how they had hardly changed since first grade.

'I swear to god those two are gay if they are still inseparable' I laughed.

'I hope not that would be worse for me' I laughed more than Jacob joined me. Every time I moved away from it seemed like he would move closer. Not to mention the way he stared at me, I tried to think he wasn't staring at me, so I just ignored him when he did.

'They just keep you around to perve on while they suck each other's dicks' I pointed out.

'I feel so used' he said pretending to be hurt. I looked into eyes he was staring at me again. We stayed there staring at each other for what seemed like an hour but was really was five minute. I was the first to break the stare.

'Do you have a phone, I need to ring mum wise she is going to have a spaz attack, if I don't call' he didn't answer me straight away he kept staring at me for a couple of seconds.

'Yeah it's in my dad's room' he led me to Billy's room and opened the door for me. I stepped inside it was kind of like the rest of the house beautiful with tribal paintings and wind charms. Oh I love wind charms so soothing. Billy's bed was nicely carved woof with dark green covers. Jacob showed me his phone was on the bedside table, I sat down on Billy's bed expecting a long phone call.

'Well I will leave you and your mum to talk' he said as he closed the door. My fingers were trembling as I pressed the buttons on the phone, when I finally got her phone number right it took her thirty seconds to answer the longest thirty seconds of my life. What am I going to say to her? Oh god Clearwater you're in deep shit. Okay honesty is the best policy, no it's not it's better to just lie its way easier. I heard a voice come out of the phone.

'Hello who's this' my mother's voice was muffled and she sounded tired.

'It's me mum, Leah' my voice shock slightly as I said my name. Keep it together Clearwater you're just talking to her over the phone.

'Leah where are you I have rang the house like ten times and you haven't picked up!' her voice was laced with worry.

'I'm fine mum, the power went out and I'm staying at a friend's house' I my breathing went calm.

'Whose house are you staying at?' God I hope she didn't ask that question.

'Um the Blacks' I said. Please don't ask questions.

'Leah, Billy's not home your there with Jacob aren't you' I cleared my throat.

'Yeah, I am but nothing is going on I swear to you that nothing is going on' I pointed out.

'Leah just remember you are seventeen please be safe' my face burnt so red.

'Mum I told you nothing is going on god please don't ever speak to me that way again, for all that is good shut up' I was ready to chuck the against the wall phone but then I remembered It wasn't mine.

'Okay Lee I have to go sweetheart you have a good night, love you'

'Love you to mum' what did she mean "have a good night" damn her she really shouldn't be a mum god she knows how to scare a person for life. I pressed the end call button and I laid back on the bed. What a phone call I huffed just wanting to end tonight and go back to the real world where I never smiled and was a total bitter bitch. I don't know how Jacob changed all those things so quickly he was the only one to get me out of a bad mood so quick. I nearly fell off the bed when the phone rang besides me. I grabbed it off the bed side table and answered it.

'Hello' I said. A girl replied to me.

'Hello who's this' she asked confused. Rachel.

'Rachel?' I asked.

'Yeah who is thi- wait Leah is that you' Oh shit blown cover.

'Hi to you to Rach' I said sarcastically.

'Leah what are you doing there, are you and my brother-' I cut her off before she could say any more

'No, no and no I just got caught up in a storm and your house just happened to be close' I said calmly.

'Oh' she sounded disappointed.

'Do you want your brother?' I asked. Before she could ask any more questions about my sudden appearing at her Dad's house. I rushed out of Billy's room out into the hall when I came halt at the lounge room where Jake sat on the couch with a curious look.

'Jake, Rachels on the phone' I stated. He shook his head with his eyes popping out of his head.

'Say that I'm not here' sometimes he can be so stupid.

'I already answered the phone idiot, just take it' I chucked the phone at him, he caught it with one swift movement. He put up against his ear and stood up and talked to her while I sat back down on the couch. I started to shiver again why does La push have to be so cold I thought. I turned my head to try and hear Jacobs conversation clearer.

'No Rachel there is nothing going on between me and Leah, no I don't want to be hooked up with one of your friends from uni' he sounded annoyed, I let out a stifle laugh.

'She doesn't know anything jeez give some credit Rachel' he winked at me, god that was hot. Damn Jacob and his ability to make me think dirty.

'Okay love you,bye' and with that he hanged up while shaking his head.

'Did you have a nice conversation Jakey poo' I said trying to get comfortable on this damn couch.

'Shut up, Clearwater' he spat.

'Oh don't be like that Jakey poo' I said touching his arm as he sat down next to me. I just had to touch him, I swallowed hard and let go. His eyes shifted to mine and I felt the connection again I tried to brush it off but it wasn't that easy. Instead of having a staring contest with Jacob I tried to sleep in the most awkward position known to man. I closed my eyes trying my hardest to get to sleep.

'What are you doing?'

'Trying to sleep but I can't cause you are talking'

'And what makes you think you're sleeping on the couch' he pointed out.

'It's not like I will be sleeping in your bed Jacob' I stated. I felt my hands being held by some one else's, my eyes instantly shot open and my heart beat increased. Jacob was holding my hand with his.

'Come on Lee, your not sleeping out here' he stood up and made me stand up with him. Once again he led me down the hallway but this time to the last door straight down the hall. He opened the door from what I'm guessing is his room inside wasn't small but it wasn't big either. The walls were plain white and dream catchers hanged from the ceiling and a massive carved wooden wolf looking down on his bed. A bed was in the corner of the room and a dresser on the other end of the bedroom. He led me to the bed, he stood facing me my neck was strained from looking up at him. He moved a curl out of my face and tucked it out of my face. My breathing came sharp when he did and my eyelids fluttered. He smiled I should of slapped his hand away but it just felt so right. A glint of worry splashed through his handsome features. So I decided it was best left ignored. I cleared my throat I don't think I would be able to speak.

'Sleep in my bed tonight it won't be weird' he said.

'Where will you sleep?' I blurted out not wanting him to leave. He touched my arm.

'Well since you are a crazy women that likes to run around when a storms on, I will have to sleep on the floor to make sure you don't retreat the house'. I lost all thought of the storm, I knew it was because of Jacob but I didn't want to acknowledge that fact just yet.

I got settled into Jacobs bed, and of course it had Jacobs scent everywhere which was making it hard think straight. Jacob of course came back into the room with with a blanket and some pillows, he was now laid out on the floor I felt sorry for him I kicked him out of his bed. I shivered it was colder in here then it was out I the lounge room. My teeth chattering so loud I think Forks could hear me. Then I heard Jacob get up and head to the other side of the bedroom.

'Oh shit, sorry Lee left the window open In here' I heard the window shut.

'Leah are you alright?'

'Just fine, I should heat up soon' I felt the bed move slightly.

'Move over' he whispered. I moved like he asked.

'What are you doing?' I felt him move under the blanket beside me, his heat was radiating off him sending shivers down my back.

'I'm hot remember' I knew it was dark but you could just hear the smirk crossing his face.

'I remember' I laughed.

Fifteen minutes went passed Jacobs snores were filling the bedroom. Mine and Jacobs backs were back to back it was impossible for us not to touch because Jacob took up sixty percent of the bed. His scent was driving me crazy and so intoxicating, It felt like I was getting high off the way he smelt. The storm was still raging outside hopefully it would go away by the morning the urges were getting stronger as Jacob was now a sleep leaving me to fight the battle with no distractions. I felt the pull and was to weak to deny the urges. My feet were nearly on the floor but then a strong arm wrapped around my waist, pulling me out of the storms hypnosis. I was pulled back feeling my body collide with Jacobs strong torso.

'Where do you think your going?' he mumbled with anger. Thank you muscular man in this bed.

'No where' I whispered, his grip on my waist tightened.

'Good' he growled. Did he just growl okay, could today get any more weirder.

Those were the last words we exchanged for the night before we drifted off to sleep. I was expecting him to move his arm when he knew I was going to stay, but he didn't. I knew it was because he didn't trust me from walking out the door, but in some sort of sense it felt like he was protecting me. I felt so safe in his arms, even in his presence made me feel safe, this man was the most extraordinary person I have ever met. Why does he have to be so perfect. Now realising what I was doing, I was falling for Jacob Black and I am falling hard. Of course I won't except these feeling I'm having for him until I die, Jacob will always be my friend never my lover, just a family friend and that's how it will remain.

Leah May Clearwater you are not setting yourself up for another heartbreak.

The mornings air was filling the mist and the suns raise was creeping into the room from behind the blinds. It was so cozy and warm in this bed. My eyes fluttered open as a loud snore escaped from behind me. Then last nights festivities popped into my mind. Okay Leah just calm down, grab your shit and run as fast as you can. Way to make it look like a one night stand Clearwater. I let my feet slip onto the floor. My feet were on the floor but my body wouldn't seem to budge. I tried my hardest to move but I couldn't. I looked down at my waist, no wonder I couldn't move Jacobs arm was around me, his grip shouldn't be that strong. I squirmed, twisted and turned but yet I could not move. I tried to pull out of his grip one more time, but then I landed smack hard into Jacobs chest. I looked up at him, his mouth was wide open and his short hair mattered his handsome face and if you looked hard enough you could see his nose twitch. His grip tightened making me impossible for me to escape from his clutches. As my body moved closer so did my face, I could feel his breath on my cheeks. Please don't wake up, please don't wake up. But of course I had to wake him up it would be pretty awkward for his father and sister to come home and stumble into his bedroom and find me in there, even worse if I come out of Jakes bedroom with out pants and wearing his top. Yep defiantly getting his ass out of bed so I can fuck off. Now the question is how? I slapped him in the face a couple of times. Not a good idea, I nearly screamed in pain as tears streaked down my face. Leah don't quit now. This time I tried a knew tactic, I held is nose waiting for him to wake up from lose of oxygen, but he only took a loud breath from his mouth. Think,think how do you wake up a seventeen year old. I know, it's going to go against all my rules but I was desperate. I took in a deep breath, this plan can only work if I was strong enough. I was now putting my plan to action, I put both of my hands on his solid chest. Trying so hard not to get distracted by how damn hot he is, I pushed him as hard as I could onto his back sending me on top of him. He still didn't stir. Alright time for plan B I was hoping it wouldn't have to come to this. Okay Lee you have to move closer.

I brushed the hair out of his face and my hands started making it's way down his neck down to his firm shoulders I moved my face closer to his so he can feel the breath on his face to feel that I was near him, my hands were now trailing down his muscle bound chest, hoping it wouldn't have to go further then this,but a part of me wanted me to go further. Biting my lips as I felt his chest. I suddenly got hold of myself this was suppose to wake him up not give me pleasure. I got caught up in moment and had to think of ways to try wake him up. I let my face get closer to his and letting my hands slid up his body and travel behind his neck now playing with the back of his hair.

'Hmm , I could get use to waking up like this every morning' I instantly stopped gawking at him. He looked at me with a smirk covering his perfect features. I wonder how long he has been awake for?

'How long have you been awake for?' I asked surprised. His hands stared playing with my curls.

'When your hands were running through my hair' he stated, twisting a curl in his hands.

'You were awake the whole time' I said shocked, feeling the blood rush to my cheeks. He smiled.

' Did you have fun?' I glared at him, it only made him laugh which pissed me off. I pushed myself out of his arms and got off the bed, and picked up a pillow off the floor and through it at him.

'You sick barstead, I only did that just to wake your ass up' I snapped. He jumped out of the bed yawning and stretching.

'Sure sure' he smiled, coming closer to me. My heart rate immediately went faster. He had my curls in his hands again. A smile played on his lips as a confused look played on mine. Eyeing him carefully. Feeling my anger release like nothing ever happened.

'What are you doing?' I whispered, my heart was pounding so fast I swear he could hear it.

'Calming you down' he mumbled as he kept playing with my hair. I wanted to stay here for as long as I could but I was worried if Billy came home or Mum decided she would pick me up. I looked up at Jacob feeling his eyes shift to mine.

'Jacob I really should be leaving' I told him. His eyebrows crushed together.

'Hmm you smell good' he growl, my mouth gawked at him in shock. Did he really just say that or am I really going crazy. Yeah Leah you are definitely going crazy. I brushed off the comment like it was nothing as I normally would. I was more focused on the fact of getting home and letting my life get back to normal but the strange thing was I didn't want it to.

'Jake I mean it, I have to go' I said strongly. Searching through his eyes I could see sadness as I spoke the words. He pulled me into his arms, oh god.

'Are you hungry?' he spoke with one eyebrow raised.

'I can stomach it until I get home' I spoke softly into his chest. A part of me was telling me was to push him and scream in his face not to touch me, but the other part was telling me not to let go. I felt so safe and warm in his arms that it was nearly at the point of scary.

'Leah if you stayed for night surely you can stay for breakfast' he pointed out. I stepped back with his arms still wrapped around me, I looked up at him. He has a pleading look on his face, for one moment in my life nothing else mattered it was this man that changed everything from last night. Screw it I thought.

'What time will Billy be home?' I said biting my lip. He smiled knowing I have given in.

' One' he said. I looked at the cloak from behind him.

9:22

I smiled up at him ' Perfect' was all I said before we left the room. When we at the kitchen Jake when straight to the fridge and then to the stove. I was about to ask if he needed help.

'No you sit down your my guest' I did as what he asked and sat down on the couch. I could see Jake from here cause there was no wall between his lounge room and kitchen, just a few counters and top cupboards.

'I'm glad you decided to stay Lee cause your clothes aren't dry yet' he spoke. I forgot completely about my clothes, damn Jake distracting me at all the wrong times.

'Shit' I shouted as I ran across the kitchen to the laundry where the front door was. I heard Jake chuckle from the kitchen. I opened up the washing machine and dug through the clothes until I found my damp brown shorts and my white tank top. I went to the kitchen and tapped on Jacobs shoulder. He turned to look down at me.

'How do I dry these?' I asked. He smiled and took them my hands and left the kitchen, he opened the hall way cupboard and laid my clothes on from what I'm guessing was the hot water cylinder.

'Thanks' I mumbled as he came back into the kitchen and returned back to the stove. While I returned to the couch as Jacob once again refused my offer to help. I turned on the T.V onto the news.' The storm cleared out nicely with no real damage, also another disappearance has been reported in the local area of a young boy named David Mitchell. Last sawn with his father on a hiking trip up In the mountains last night. If seen please report to the Forks police station. Now Trudy Newman with the weather'. That poor kids parents I could only image what it must be like for them. I knew that he was going to stay missing just like that girl at school and all the others. But it's always best to stay hopeful. I wonder if Jacob knew him? Although I doubted it most people from the res aren't really buddy buddy with the people in Forks. I looked over at Jacob who was still standing at the stove.

'Hey Jake.' I said asking for his attention. Turning my head back to the T.V.

'Yeah, Lee'

'Do you know a kid named David Mitchell?' I asked.

'No, it doesn't ring a bell. Why?' he said curious. I turned to him, he was looking at me with on eyebrow quirted up.

'Because he went missing up in the mountains last night' I said looking in his eyes. Anger flickered his eyes and he looked like he had a very strong grip on the pan and he was shaking slightly, but he soon got control over himself again, which is a good thing cause it was starting to creep me out.

'You alright over there Black?' He soon caught wind of me getting worried, and his face soon became relaxed again.

'Dandy, Clearwater, just dandy' He gave me a tight lipped smile..so fake.

'If you say so' I smiled back.

'Can't you stay a little longer' Jacob asked next to me. I never thought I would be having such a great time and the funny thing was it was with Jacob Black, of all people.

'Jacob, it's eleven if I stay any longer we will be caught and I really don't want Billy or any one else getting the wrong idea' I stated. I went to stand up but pulled back onto the couch by Jacob.

'And what Idea is that, Clearwater?' he said moving closer.

'You know perfectly well what idea I mean' I snapped. I sighed and moved off the couch and headed for the door.

'Leah, I really don't think Sue will like it when you walk into your house with nothing on apart from my shirt' he smiled. I looked down shit my clothes. I walked over to the hall way cupboard and grabbed my clothes from the hot water cylinder. Then I turned to Jacob who had both eyebrows raised.

'Can you give a girl some privacy?' I asked. He nodded and turned, I had to make sure there was no possible way for him to see me before I stripped. When it was clear I pulled my shorts on and I had to keep Jacobs shirt on cause my tank top was still damp and see through.

'Okay Jake you can turn around now' he turned and had a smirk on his face.

'What are you grinning about?' I asked with my hands on my hips.

'Your still wearing my shirt' he pointed out, I rolled my eyes.

'Can I wear until I get home and I will bring back for dinner tonight, its just my tank tops still see through?'

'Sure you can even keep it, it suits you' he winked at me. I gave him the finger and went to leave the house'.

'Lee don't be like that, I will drive you home' he said following me out of the house. The fresh air was nice after the rain and it smelt a little bit tangy most likely from first beach. Bitter.

'I will just walk home, you might miss Billy and Rachel' I said he grabbed my arm and led me to the garage like I had no choice wise I would just be dragged there anyway.

'They will be here when I get back' he said opening the garage door. Inside sat a small red car. He opened the car door for me, I mentally rolled my eyes what a gentlemen. I sat in the seat as the door closed. I heard another door close I turned to look at Jacob whos head touched the ceiling slightly, which made the corners of my mouth twitch. He put the keys in the ignition but stopped and looked at me. Oh Jesus does this guy want my life to be a living hell.

'Put your seat belt on' he said sternly. I looked at him he wasn't wearing one. Typical men move, I didn't normally have a seat belt on especially in my car where the itch like nothing else.

'Your such a hypocrite Black, I don't see you with a seat belt' he shot me dagger eyes I only narrowed mine.

'Leah the reason why I don't have a seat belt is because it won't fit around me, and we are not leaving until you put it on!' he shouted. I instantly put the seat belt on a little bit scared of Jacobs out burst. He pulled out of the drive way and started to drive on the dirt road. I keep looking straight trying not to look at him but I kept looking at him from the corner of my eye. He was holding the stirring wheel very tightly. Okay maybe I should apologise for being a total bitch after all he saved my ass last night.

'Jacob I'm sorry I acted like a bitch' I said brushing my thumbs back and forth in my hands. I felt his hand touch mine while his other was on the wheel. Why the hell is he so touchy? But I seriously wasn't minding any of it. His face softened but his strong jaw line was still very visible.

'It's alright Lee, it's just I would feel much more relaxed if you had a seat belt on' he said honestly. I felt a little bit uncomfortable now I wanted to change the subject so bad.

'How can you drive like that?' I asked, I knew nothing about driving at all. I know a lot about cars but when it comes to getting behind the wheel it's a complete disaster waiting to happen. Like once when I as twelve I think, me, mum and Seth were in the car and she had to run into the shop leaving me and Seth alone. Well the shop was on a slight hill with the main road across from it, my mother being the smartest women on earth forgot to put the parking brake on. The car started to move backwards and so I grabbed Seth and pulled him out of the car. Thank god everyone was safe but mums new Toyota was no more. And since then I have been scared of driving if I didn't know how to stop a car when I was twelve what changes things now. I heard Jacob double over in laughing behind the wheel, he wiped a tear away from his eye. What the fuck is so funny?

'Leah you don't know how to drive do you?' Jake chuckled. I blushed and looked down.

'It's not a laughing matter' I mumbled.

'Clearwater it's fine if you can't, if you want I can teach you?' I looked at him wide eyed.

'I don't think that's such a great idea' his mouth twitched.

'I'm a very good driver Lee'.

'I'm not questioning you about your driving skill, it's just I don't want to damage your car or anyone else'

'Leah you can't be that bad sure to god' he said. I rolled my eyes. ' If you say that you are that bad even more reason to teach you, you are going to have to get behind a wheel at some point of your life' he stated. He was right it's better to learn now then never.

'Fine' I mumbled staring off to the distance.

'We got a deal then Clearwater, you teach me how to cook and I will teach you how to drive. I looked to him and smiled as he said that.

My heart was pumping so hard I couldn't think. We are out two houses down from my house because I refused Jacob to go any further. I don't want to do this, mum most likely told Seth and then Seth will go spaz , then we end up in a ridiculous argument while mum stands on the side lines laughing god I don't want another of those family moments.

'You really don't want to go do you?' he whispered in my ear.

'Nope but I have to face it'. I stepped out of the car which I learned on the rest of the car trip it was known as the (rabbit). As soon as I went past the first house and waved at Jacob as he turned away from the street honking his horn as he went by. Great make everyone look out their windows next time Jake. This means less thinking time for me yay. I slowly walked up the my path to my front door. Damn it mum was home I thought as I walked pasted the car and knowing my luck Seth would be home to for the first time in ages. I opened the door slowly hopeful being able to sneak up to my room with out being noticed. When I was just about to the stairs but I didn't notice Seth sitting on one of the stools eating his breakfast.

'Mum, Leah is home' he pronounced at the top of his freaking lungs. God I am really starting to dislike him. He poked his tongue at me as to say you totally deserve this, little twerp face cunt.

'Oh hi sweetheart how was your night?' and it starts, perfect.

'Fine 'I said flatly standing against the railing of the stairs. Seth eyes darted between me and mum haha for once he was left out but soon we will have to soon enough.

'What are you old bags talking about now?' Seth asked, I nearly fell on the ground from laughter when mum whacked him across the back of the head with a frying pan.

'Ow what the fuck is happening and Leah where were you this morning' I was just about to tell him to keep his nose out of the fuck of my business then mum told him what happened. Thanks mum you should win a medal whoopty fucking do.

'Leah was sleeping at a friends house' She said cheerfully, I shot her dagger eyes across the room.

'With who?' he asked confused most likely cause he thought I had no friends.

'With Jacob-' I cut her off in mid sentence.

'Mum' I groaned. Milk poured all the way out of Seth's nose and onto the carpet.

'You disgusting freak' I screamed at him. Yuck how can I live with myself from having a little brother like that.

'See I was right' he said coughing madly. I was gagging on stair case, why me? He finally stopped his coughing fit and looked up at me. Finally some one noticed I wasn't wearing my usual shirt.

'Leah are you wearing anything under that top' Seth asked. If mum wasn't here I would slap in the face so many times.

'Yes Seth' I pulled up my top showing my shorts that were covered up by Jacobs top.' I'm not a slut little brother'. He was suddenly right next to me in a flash sniffing everywhere.

'What the hell creep?' I asked pushing him away.

' That's Jacobs shirt isn't it' I pushed him more away. 'Okay I get Jacobs scent being on the shirt but it's all over your body Leah'. I could feel my cheeks getting hot so I looked down at my feet hoping no one would notice. 'Ha, see Mum, I was right she's blushing'.

'I didn't sleep with him I just slept in his bed with him in it, okay, it was wet and cold' I blurted out. Well it's better then them thinking I had sex with him.

'Oh I get it Lee, you two were spooning-.'

'We had are clothes on Seth' I pointed out.

'Sure you were' He wiggled his eyebrows up and down.

"Shut up!'

'Fine but you know I'm right' I rolled my eyes. Seth turned to go to his bedroom thank god. But I was just curious about one thing.

'Wait Seth, how did you know it was Jacobs scent on me?' I instantly saw Seth's back stiffen. 'Seth leave your sister alone, okay. I think she just needs some rest and, Leah, don't worry you will get to see him tonight' my mother spoke with a amused voice. Oh lord.

'Nothing happened!' I shouted to the top of my lungs and I rushed up stairs to my bedroom and locked the door so no one could disturb me. I through myself onto my bed and wallowed in my thoughts. Scholars you better get out your pens and paper cause this going to be the most awkward dinner in history.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3:

Fighting To Find It

I have been feeling weird all day, any second now my stomach felt like it was about to explode from butterfly's. I groaned as I rolled over in my bed. Why is this happening? Maybe I just need some fresh air. I was about to head out the door, but then I stopped myself. No way am I going back out there and once again get humiliated. I fell back on my bed and started to zone out, I mostly thought about Jacob and Dad, then Jacob some more. Ugh why was I thinking about Jake so much, every time I wanted to think about something else he crept back into my mind with those chocolate eyes. Then I started noticing things about Jacob, small things that seem to make him a big part of my mind. Like how when he was happy his eyes would go chocolate brown and when angry his eyes would turn to a black sort of colour. And when he smiles, he got dimples on each cheek which made him look childish, also the way his nose twitches when he's a sleep. Then I came back to earth and found myself smiling like a idiot. Whoa slow down there Clearwater we just got over Sam and now your thinking about Jacob who you haven't talked to for years until last night. But something changed last night, I don't know what...but I felt different somehow. I was just hoping that when I got home things would go back to normal, but things looked so different now...why? The questions of the evening.

What?

When?

How?

These questions haunted me everywhere I went from last night. For me the questions I with hold in my head are the main focus, they mean more then the most important ones like religion, the universe and the elements of time. This could not be a simple crush, I would have recognised it from a mile away. This felt way different to what I felt with Sam it was just the usual standard teenage romance. A teenage romance was all cute fluffy and crap this was totally different. When I was with Jacob I could just be me. No facades, no walls to protect me, which scares the hell out of me .Leah it was one night you are acting like a idiot. Yeah one night... after tonight I would most likely not talk to him again.

Now you that's a lie, Clearwater

Great I can't even convince myself. I groaned, maybe If I distract myself long enough I will forget about him...for a while. I sat up on my bed, now what is there to do? I looked out my window, It's still cloudy from the storm and it looked like it was about to rain. So taking a jog was out of the question, maybe I will play a board game with the twerp. Oh yeah that's right he's out like normal. My life is like a nun, useless, dull and unattractive. I looked at the clock which was on my bedside table. 3:00. Great,mum should be called into work soon. I should ask her if I can come with her now that Seth's being a total fuck wit, I think that is a good idea to spend the afternoon with mum. Me and mum were really close when dad was alive, when he died it seemed like she didn't need me because she was always mourning with Charlie. Which irradiated me to the edge, It seemed like in one month I lost my boyfriend, my best friend/sister/cousin and my mother. I know I should be angry with my mum but it seems so inappropriate for me to be, after all Charlie was her rock and he helped mum through a tough stage in her life, when I knew I couldn't. Because of Charlie Mum hardly cries and her smile once again lightens the room with happiness. Now I know where the little twerp gets it from. No matter what happens I will always love my mother and seeing a smile on her face makes the world a tiny bit better. I may never call Charlie dad but I can say thank you to him. In some ways I feel portrayed by my fathers former best friend, because well you can't help but think how long has he been feeling this way about Mum, has he tried hitting on her while dad was still alive? The thought of that made my teeth grit together and my hands ball into fists. If I'm going to face this man tonight I am going to need to hold my tongue. What does mum see in him, anyway he is no where near any good looking, he not at all muscular, he's kind of short, his eyes are to light and his skin is pale pinkish which is kind of gross. I stopped my rant right there realising what I was suddenly doing. There was no way I was comparing Charlie to Jacob...was I? How is it that when I think of him that I don't even realise it! There it goes again, everything about Jacob zoomed past my mind in under a minute. His eyes, hair,body, laugh, personality and the way he looked at me. I seemed to have melted my brain with thoughts of Jacob. When I finally returned to Earth it was already four, I'd spent a whole hour thinking of him. 'You got it bad'.

'Shut up, Jacob will never become a daily part of my life nor will I let him take over my thoughts'. I thought back.

'You don't like that?I thought we were one of the same mind babe. I certainly like this boy, if gives us a sensation between the legs who's complaining? Oh yeah you'.

'I am not fighting with myself about Jake' I blurted out loud. I breathed heavy, this can not be happening. I don't like Jacob, I don't like him. He's the boy who pushed me into the mud when we were nine.

He said it was a accident and he fell in the mud with us.

He's the boy who's ego is bigger than the whole state of Washington.

Nothing wrong with a boy with a blown up head.

He's the boy who stole my candy.

You were willing to share.

He's the boy who went around the school 'sack tapping' Embry and Quil.

Like you weren't apart of any of it.

He's the boy that stole my first kiss from me.

And you were smiling like a idiot afterwards.

It was then I noticed that Jacob wasn't a boy any more he was a man. He has changed so much not only his physical but his personality also, of course he's still a cocky ass wipe. But his maturity level has in creased over the years compared to Quil and Embry's, who might I add still go around squirting cat piss at freshman's. I guess there sort of fucked up hobby because they can't get any real pussy. How much I missed the gang, well that's Quil named it 'the gang', how pre teen. Besides the corny name, We use to have a lot of fun, mud balloon fights, instead of water we filled them with mud, Or how when Embry would always leave a massive amount of horse manor on his neighbours lawn, or the time me and Jacob stole Billy's old run down truck and ran it into a tree. Yeah I know we weren't the smartest kids in La push.

I laughed at the memories, I loved reminiscing about the younger times of my life. Before Sam, before fate fucked my life and turned me into a bitter, harpy bitch. I was happy, not so happy my head would explode like my baby brother, but happy to be alive. For some reason friends made my life so much better, but then Uley had to come alone made me fall in love with him and fuck my cousin afterwards. I lost all of my friends because he couldn't keep his dick in his pants. I lost Embry, Quil and Jacob, they use to be my closest friends and even when you just wanted to hit them so bad, they were always there for you. Even after the break up of Sam Uley, they came over to the house to see how I was. Despite the fact I barley acknowledged them as friends any more, because I abandoned them for a guy. And I just slammed the door in their faces, throwing the flowers and vase at them. It was partly my fault that I have no friends but it was so much more easy just to blame Sam, after all he did break my heart. Now it seems they replaced me with my brother. I sighed as I thought of my baby brother talking and laughing with them. I hope they don't hate me, I mean Jacob was fine last night and this morning like nothing ever happened between the stages of my life. Jacob made me totally forget about Sam, it was like I was never broken. And the way he looked at me it was like nobody else mattered but me, at first it freaked me out but then it was kind of sweet in a non creepish way. Then I pictured Jacob with that look plastered on his face. I clutched my chest as ache surged through me, it was like a tug. What was that? I laid on my back , taking deep breaths trying to get rid of the tug. Five minutes went by and yet the ache was still there. Maybe if I ignore it, it will go away. I squeezed my eyes shut , to subside the little pain I got in my chest. I got off my bed, and walked over to my dresser and took out my book. I smiled at the title.

The problem with women is men!

This book helped me a lot when Sam left. But the funny thing with this book is that the author is a man, It's kind of weird how to read about a man bag out his own gender. The book taught me that some women have much bigger problems. My problem with Sam was just a guy who I loved cheated on me and left for my cousin simply said. It would be so much different if he and I were already married but fortunately that wasn't the case, and I was thankful for that.

After reading five or six pages I quickly got bored. Man I need a hobby.

No you need a man. I groaned shaking my head multiple times to shake out my thoughts. I nearly fell off my bed when I heard a knock at the door and of course my bedroom door was wide open. I looked up to see mum holding a basket of clothes with a amused look on her face.

'Hey mum' I said trying to play it out cool.

'Are you alright, honey?'

'Um, yeah fine' she put the basket down beside my bed and sat next to me with a loving smile. I smiled back at her. Nothing better then seeing your mother smile, it always gives her a nice radiant glow. Dad use to say I was a spitting image of mum but I have his sense of humour.

'Leah, what do you say?' I didn't even notice she was talking.

'Huh?' her smile grew larger.

'I have to go grocery shopping for Charlie, would you like to come sweetheart?' Jack pot, outside world here I come. I was standing up in a instant, heading towards the door.

'Leah, you might want to put a short top on' I blushed looking down to see Jacobs top. Mum patted my shoulder as she went past then through the door frame and called out that she will meet me in the car. I rushed to my closet and pulled out my grey 'bite me T-shirt. I rushed down stairs jumping at the last three steps. When I came outside mum was already in the car waiting. I slipped into the car door being greeted with a smile. Mum pulled out of are drive way just missing the flowers on the neighbours lawn. She sighed in relief.

'Mrs Fletcher would kill me if I ran over her flowers again' I nodded me and Seth learnt the hard way with a broom. She is a short stumpy woman, she always wore her hair in a tight bun and always had a dress on covered with a flower pattern. Mrs Fletcher is sometimes nice but there's only one problem she's a crazy old bat. Ever since her husband died in the war which was back in the late 60s, she has been rude,aggressive and mean. Some people think of her as a outcast because she was one of the few on the res that was a pale face. Although she was constantly bickered about behind closed doors and hated by the most of the population of La push, she refused to leave the reservation even when she was the one who hated it the most. Some say she doesn't leave because her husband loved it here and it leaves happy memories, I say the same. You barely see a smile on her face and if you do she's just beaten somebody up.

We were now crossing over to Forks, I couldn't help but feel a pang in my chest as we did. I tried hard to ignore it. Mum must have noticed something she looked at me with a worrying look. I gave her a weak smile to reassure I was fine. But the truth is how long will I be fine for what if this pull never goes what if it gets worse. When will the weirdness end?

It's always the females job I thought as I pushed the trolley down the cereal and sweets isle. I scanned the cereals on the shelves while mum went to get milk. When Sue said that men were hopeless I didn't think she actually meant it. Charlie's what forty and yet he can not cook, clean or even shop for fucking food. It's like he's disabled. Actually no Billy even seems more independent then him, I'm even sure that if Billy and Charlie had to walk in a straight line Charlie would fall first. My eyes trailed my fingers as they pointed at all the cereals. Which one would Charlie like hmmmmmm. I tapped my finger against my chin. Got it this would suit Charlie just fine...Piggy Oats. I'm sure he will find them very amusing. I threw the very colourful package in the trolley. I was just about to move to the next isle, but to be stopped by someone putting milk into the trolley. I looked up to see my mother she looked like she just ran a marathon.

'Well I think you got your exercise for today' she gave me a weak smile.

'I have looked all around the super market, for you Missy' I shrugged not knowing what to say.

'That's what you get for having such a swift daughter' I pointed out. She peered over the trolley with a impressed look on her face.

'Not much to go now, sweet' I nodded and we trailed down the isle.

Once we got to the check out, I started unloading all the groceries onto the scanner. Well I hope Charlies happy with all this food. I don't see why he needs all of this, it's not like he eats vegetables the fucking carnivore. I still think we should have just got him thirty packets of mac and cheese but then again he will probably find some way to burn them...dumb ass. Out of the corner of my eyes I could see the cashier raking his eyes over my body. A year ago I would have blushed and said nothing, but now I feel like punching his head in and making him squeal like a bitch. I glared at him , to let him know I can see what he's doing. He looked away nervously and tried to play it cool like it didn't happen. I would have made some sarcastic remark or abused him until I got kicked out of the store but I chose not to since mum was right next to me. I kept my stern look on my face when I looked at him, mum was caught up in her own happiness to even bother to see what was pissing me off.

The smile remained on her features when we left the store and even when we were in the car, and again on the road. I mentally rolled my eyes, she's just happy because she gets to see Charlie. I think today's breakfast is starting to come back up. I stared off into the distant trying to forget who and where I was, If only it was that easy.

I came out of my blank state when we went down a familiar street. I knew we were going to Swans putting another damper in my day. I took a glimpse of mum who wore a toothy grin. I sighed taking in the signs for the first time. Charlie Swan welcome to the family. I thought gloomily. Sue Swan...Sue Swan. I closed my eyes as I thought that thinking if I opened my eyes I would break down in tears. How I miss you Daddy. I whimpered when I felt the tug. My mother shot me a concerned look, and I just gave her a weary smile. But that didn't seem to convince her. She turned her attention back to the road while I just think of Charlie Swan possibly being my step farther.

We are at Swans in Forks and let me tell you it is fucking boring. I am sitting in Charlie lounge room watching some football game trying to ignore the conversation that is going on right next to me. It's like they don't even know I'm here and by they I mean Charlie and Susan. They are just in there own little world while I'm here being a tiny insect of their lives. Sure I may be my mothers first born child but I will still remain the pester of the family. Who needs me anyway? What's my soul per-pus in life to what sit around wallow in Sam's and Emilys happiness. Everyone is falling in love around me, teasing and flaunting it in my face. All those songs, books and movies don't make sense because my love got taken away in a instant. I seem to wonder if Emily didn't come down from Makah then me and Sam would still be together although I doubt it because even before Emily we were having issues. Those issues remained around the area of him all ways running away taking a bit of my heart each time he did, how he became so hot headed about everything I did or how he use to say it was embarrassing for him not to have sex yet all because 'Jared and Paul' have done it already. Yeah more like they done it with each other. So much for the love of your life. I felt like puking when Charlie started whispering in mums ear. Seriously could they at least keep it PG rated. Well mentally spewing in a cops house is perfectly how I want to spend my afternoon. The smirk on my mums face didn't leave once when we were at Charlie's. I sighed I all ways thought my mother would be the sort of widow to go on a dating site at the age of 76,but I didn't expect her to move on so quickly...in some ways it angers me on how she can just forget about Dad in just under a year. But I knew she didn't forget Dad, she just moved on living on with her life. I mean I wasn't expecting her to mope around the house all day. In most ways I am thrilled to have my old happy bubbly mother back, last I recall she left Seth and me sometime ago in what they call the 'mourning period'. Thank god their was a man called Charlie Swan to keep mum from looking like a walking corpse, bet it could be the only thing I could thank him for. Charlie's a good guy but if he so ever hurts my mother emotionally or physically well let's just say he will have to start peeing out his ass because no way is he having a dick once I'm finished with him and plus it would be ten times easier now that I have hulky-bulky Seth on my side. Also if he thinks that now him and mum are dating or whatever they are, that he can start acting like my father I will personally put a end to him. Now that is all cleared up In my thoughts I might as well go back to the puke fest in my mouth.

'Bye Charlie we will see you at Billy's' my mother waved from the drive way. I followed the same motion because if I wasn't polite I would most likely get a back hand to the side of the head.

'Bye Sue oh and Leah stay in school' he smiled. Finally now I get noticed when I'm leaving no hello but a goodbye now that's implying something. Wait I didn't even get a goodbye what the fuck...stupid pig. Sure you can bang my mother but take no recondition of her child real smooth.

'I will Chief Swan' I climbed into the front seat of the car waiting my mum to pull away from the idiot. I heard the car door slam from my right. I didn't bother to look at Sue I was more focused on Charlie who was smiling ear to ear, well I guess that happens when you don't get any action in years . We pulled out of Charlies street now time to get answers off mummy dearest. I decided to focus on my completion in the mirror while talking to my her to make it seem so casual and not so awkward.

'Mum do you mind if I ask you some questions?' I said playing with my hair.

'Sure, as long as I get to ask some also' got back fired on that one Clearwater. I needed to know though whatever asks I will answer honestly. I nodded agreeing.

'So do you and Charlie have a label' she didn't answer for a few minutes.

'Leah we are friends that's all' she said calmly, I scoffed. Total bull. A evil smile spread across my mothers face, oh god. 'What happened between you and Jacob last night' my heart fluttered when mum spoke his name. I felt the pull in my chest come at me stronger, I hid back the tears and waited for it to pass to a dull annoyance as it always did.

'Nothing happened mum how many times do I have to tell you' I spat.

'But you slept in his bed' she pointed out. Why can't she be a normal parent who ignores the sex talk and feels uncomfortable talking about it.

'Yes but nothing happen-' I was cut off by a beeping noise. I looked at mum who seemed annoyed as hell. She picked up what looked like a small phone and instantly the noise left the car. She groaned and swerved the car around.

'What's up?'

'I have been called into the hospital' she said.

'This early I thought you were suppose to go at nine?' When dad died mum decided to extra hours at the hospital, I assumed for a distraction.

'I know but Anne's sick and Forks is short of staff'

'But what about dinner' I said thinking about Jacob, she grinned.

'I will be there' her smile got bigger. 'Don't worry you will get to see him' she laughed, I was just about to rant on about how wrong she was but I hung my head low It would only be a big fat lie anyway.

'There is no convincing you is there' I crossed my arms. She remained silent but I was thankful for the questioning to be over. Nothing more embarrassing then your plans against your mother get backfired.

When we were at the hospital I felt the need to leave instantly. In a year I never glanced at the four story building hoping if I didn't notice it I wouldn't have to face my past on that un faithful day. The day that started off as smiles and laughter then leading to cries and pleads. My mother comes here everyday facing it over and over again. I know I have great strength but my mums will always be stronger then mine. I may have had a broken heart but losing my one true love by death is something I have yet to experience. Me and Seth know that it was us that kept are mother from sharing the same fate as my father. That was the Clearwater's for you always strong but with are strength we have are ways of dealing with stuff in different ways. Such as Mum who found love in another man to keep her going all hulk on us, Seth who always puts on a happy face and a exciting attitude towards everything, and me who covers up her grief with a scowl then a splash of bitchiness

. But no more I don't want to be that girl, no I don't want people to flinch at me when I try to talk to them. I'm sick of pushing everyone away because I hate letting others in because I'm scared of what might happen if I do. A transformation in me that I didn't want happened and I was blinded because of it, blind for the fact that I lost all my friends. I let my self slip up to bitterness I may still be me somewhere beyond but it's all about fighting to find it.

'Leah, honey the doors are open you can come in' I looked at my mother who was standing next to the receptionist with blonde hair. It's been months since I stepped into Forks so it's kind of weird to see pale faces everywhere since I haven't stepped off the reservation in six months. And being in the place where Dad died was a little creepy, but then again hospitals always freaked me out. I tried to put on a reasonable face for stepping inside a hospital. The receptionist gave me a reassuring smile.

'Okay Sue you are working on the third floor today, and you have surgery with Doctor Young at Twelve this afternoon'. The blond handed my mother a thin folder that she just flicked through and nodded at her.

'Leah are you going to be okay to drive back to La push?' she passed me the keys. Oh how great is this day going to be. I gave her the biggest fake smile I could pull off.

'Sure' I'm going to be soooooo dead. Well it beats taking the bus.

'Okay, honey I will see you at four'. After we exchanged hugs she headed for the elevator, she gave me one last smile and waved before the door closed. I sighed and headed toward the door, but before I could exit the receptionist was calling my name. I groaned and walked to the counter. Now Leah be nice for mums sake….god I hate this town. Stupid pale faces always wanting chit chat.

'Hello Leah, you know how your mother is very busy this afternoon' she spoke politely. What the hell does this woman want.

'Yes' I said un sure of what she wants.

'Well It would help the hospital and your mother very much if you deliver this to Doctor Cullen'. She pulled out a box out from the bottom of the desk.

'Why can't you give it to him when he comes in?' I asked obviously annoyed by are incounter.

'He never comes in on sunny days their usually his hiking days' I nodded. Whats so important in this box that the Cullen's would need so urgently. Oh well maybe while I'm there I can find out why the res dislikes them so much.

After the blond headed Receptionist wrote down the address I retreated back to my car in the parking lot. Well well Cullens get ready to meet Leah Clearwater.


End file.
